Saturday, December 26, 2009

禄茶Halls

这个部落是给我一个朋友的。
她是一个唯独我们大家都可以开玩笑的对象,而又不会生气的人。
她蛮好相处的,也很搞笑。
她很少生气,就算生气也就是那一下子。
她很开朗,因为,当我们都在玩弄她的时候,她是没有一刻是不会笑的。
她有时候还笑到猛打桌子,当然,我们也是会。
她每天坐的位子一定有人抢来坐,都是男生啦。
她每天都带了一大堆的笔来,但最后还是每个星期都去买,因为蛮多人拿她的笔来用的。
她的名字明明就可以读得很准,但就是念错。
她也有少少暴力的倾向,只是少少而已啦。
她每次打球都打不好,但最后都有学会啦,也没有想象中酱烂。
她每次都会给人吓到,就算是很小的吓唬,她都会给我们吓到。
她在学校还蛮出名的,去到哪都有人会叫她,可能她太好人缘吧。
她每次带糖果来学校的时候,都会不到五分钟就给人抢来派完它。
她抄下来的笔记大概每一天都会有人借去,过了三四天她来吹我们我们才还她。
她给我在学校拍下来的照片都很畅销。
她也可以算是我们班上的小乖乖成员之一吧。
她也无聊到参加我的818Club,但到最后还是散了。
她也蛮好欺负的,当然我们有时也过分了一点,可是一下子她又会跟我们说回话的。
但,事情就在我毕业的半年前开始,在那个PD结束后的那天开始。
不知怎的,我突然间很讨厌她,也没有跟她讲话了。
问题就在于,我有少少的对她动心了吧。
但我知道我得不到她,所以就算了。
谁知道因爱成仇,没办法,我就是这类型的人。
也就是因为那个旅程,让大家的关系变得更加疏离了。
半年前的感觉和大半年后的感觉简直就是隔天差地。
因为有一群不知名物体在后面狂吹风吧。
就是这样,搞到我的毕业都没有什么Mood了。
哈哈哈哈哈,说了这么多,都是以前的事了。
我在此想对她说。
“李玉婷,对不起啦,当年的我可没有现在的我这么的大胆啦。但就是没有办法忘记嘛,所以就很突然的想写这个部落客咯。还记得你请我吃禄茶Halls吗?从那天开始我就很喜欢那个味道。清清淡淡的,又带有一点禄茶的清香。想忘也忘不了这个味道。我没有别的意思哦,只是想说,我们还是朋友吧?哈哈哈哈哈,还希望你每天过的好呢。很久没有听到你说‘梁振威!!!’我的大名了。。哈哈哈哈哈哈。”
这一段话。。。我看只有我懂吧,我看啊。。。她一世也不懂呢。。。哈哈
无所谓啦,只要我记得她就好了啊。她不懂也好。哈哈哈。。
加油咯。

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

你有童年玩伴吗?

在我的生活里,几乎是没有多少个是可以从小玩到大的。
因为爸爸妈妈离婚的关系,无法让我居续在我原本的家乡生活下去。
也是因为这个关系,我和我在二年级的两个朋友就这样无法居续做朋友了。
我还很清楚当时的情况叻。
我们三个,我,我的班长,和我的副班长女的,坐在我们科室后面的石椅上说,我要搬家了。
很奇怪的是,我就是记得当时的情况。
过后又一年的新年,我心血来潮突然要去找这个失散十几年的朋友。
我的副班长,石月婷。但很可惜,她不在。过后就这样回家了。
很可惜,但我不会放弃。我答应了我自己我明年回去找她。
当时做一个交代。然后就是,
因为从小我爸妈就是为了工作的关系而把我放在吉隆坡我的奶妈的家。
从满月到五岁的那年都是他们养我的,过后我就这样在那里度过我的童年。
上次我去奶妈家探望她,她告诉我当我离开的时候他们是多么的不习惯。
她还说,就是因为你突然间的离开,一个我每天都看着她骂其他小孩,用她那代替手来捏人的脚,但却没有大声骂过我一句也没有捏过我一次的姐姐在我离开过后的那一天,她大哭了一场。
全部人也都为了我而伤心。说因为我在那里都有一段时间了。
他们都看着我从用抱的,到看着我用爬的,再看着我用走的到跑的。
也从我不会说话到牙牙学语的时候到会开始大声说话的我长大。
每个人都把我当做他们的儿子来照顾。
当我听到以后,我真的很想要回去以往的日子。
我很想回到过去,然后用现在的我去跟他们道谢。
也为了那个姐姐,我真的超想回去的。
但这是不可能的吧。
所以,我是一个完全没有童年玩伴的人。
也因为如此,我也没有人家所说的,青梅竹马。
没有一个可以一起说回以前的故事的人。
不可以说是上天的安排,也不可能是天注定,但。
也许是命运吧,因为他把我放在为了朋友而要死要活的天蝎座组里面。
才有今天的我吧。哈哈。
伤心欲绝的事,就让它过去吧。
打开你的心胸,迎接新的来临。
新的开始,也就是翻开在内心新的一页。
编写你新的一天,旧的就留来当做回忆。
不赖吧。。。好好享受,好好去体会。生活。。。并不难吧。。。。哈哈

Sunday, December 13, 2009

不想让这段文字。。。消失

失去了,就真的失去了。

拿不回,就真的拿不回。

回忆,就真的只可以回忆。

拥有,就真的要认真的去拥有。

失去一个真正的,就好比上千把刀割在自己的身上都没有心灵上的来的痛苦。

这就是,失去朋友的感觉吧。要珍惜了。

我得加油了。

你。。。也是吧?


要分享,就要分享最痛苦的时刻。以便大家可以从中学到如何不需要如此的痛苦。
要开心,就要说最开心的时刻。以便大家可以开开心心的开怀大笑。
要伤心,就要把最伤心的事哭出来。以便大家知道你真的伤心了。
所以,要知道。感情真的不需要隐藏起来,不然真的很痛苦。
我得努力了。
你。。。也要加油了。

Friday, December 4, 2009

给“友情”的一个大Post!!!

刚刚看完从KINOKUNIYA买回来不到四天的书。
超超超超超极好看的说!!!!超爱的!!!!
这本书是说朋友的故事,书名是“后青春期的诗”。
很精彩,这本书的故事只有短短的两天,但作者却可以把这两天写到很精彩。
想回过去,回味以前的学生生活,以前的约定。
然后在十二年后的某一天他们全部人都聚在一起,就是为了那个约定。
多么精彩的一个友情故事,就可能是因为我超喜欢说友情的书吧,所以这本书是超赞的!!!
这本书也很有趣,搞笑的部分很多。
无论我在巴士啦,家里啦,甚至是做工的地方看到好笑的部分的时候,都不会顾及那是什么地方跟场所,我都会照平时这样笑。就因为很好笑啊,不需要隐藏啊。
看完了那本书过后有一个感想,就是,好羡慕他们的友情哦。
因为我本身就是一个常常会给人忽略的人来的,可能我对待朋友的用法不对吧。
但我不是这样觉得啊,但可能就是我不受欢迎吧,从来都好像只有我问朋友怎样啊,还好吗?
连过生日都是我去找朋友,没有朋友来找我的,有的都是两三个而已。
可能我没有我姐的那种受欢迎的荷尔蒙吧,也没有我姐的学生生活这么的精彩。
每当她说她学生生活的时候,都说到很好笑,就算听几次都好,都很好笑。
但我从来没有埋怨过自己为什么这么的不受欢迎,也没有埋怨过为什么生日的时候没有朋友来找我。
可能是习惯了吧,因为不过不过都过了十九年了,从不会应付级的都变成逹人级的了,所以也没有什么好埋怨的了。
就算是埋怨,都只是那一下子而已吧,大概是不怎么在乎吧。
可能他们有他们的理由说可能忙到忘了吧,可能都在读书吧。
所以我回去体谅啦。我朋友说我很开朗,但我一点也不觉得。
是有那一点点啦,但有时疯疯癫癫的感觉是蛮爽的啦。
朋友吗,我就是不可以没有这个东西,没有了他我会丧失自己,迷失方向。
可能我说了很多遍吧,但我还是会说。
家人只是我的后补,朋友才是真正的前锋。
我可以为了他们做很多东西,所以对我来说朋友是不可以没有的。
我家人跟我姐都跟我说过不要这样信任朋友,因为你不懂谁好谁坏,怕我给人骗。
还记得有一起我妈说我在这里的朋友都是垃圾的时候,我差一点就要骂她了,但最后还是闭住了。
有时他们可能是对的,但对我来说他们的话我都会放在一二旁。
我跟你说,如果他不值得我去信任,这样为什么我还会跟他做朋友?
因为信任,所以我们才会是朋友啊。
因为信任,所以我们才可以在一起玩啊。
无论他们说什么都好,我都会把我心里的第一位给朋友来坐。
你可以说我笨,也可以说我不值得,但,这就是我。
就是他们我才有动力和力量勇往直前。
但,我做了一件让我很心痛的事。
有如刀割的痛,我看我这一世人也忘不了吧。
就是我之前所提起的,我失去了一个可以跟他做朋友的机会。
我笨到跟他说明一切,笨到做一些朋友不可以跨过的的领域。
我很后悔和伤心,这件事足足闭在我心里一个月。
都是我的错,我不该说出真相。
所一我懂下次如何应付的了。
有人说失恋了,爱情不可能了。
而我则说,说错话了,友情不可能了。这是对的。
所以说,我很幸运。可以拥有这么多朋友。
对我而言,虽然我的中学生活没有其他人的精彩。
毕业旅行也没有去,朋友也多样化,常常给人遗忘,给人说坏话,但。
我就是喜欢我的朋友!!!
我就是爱我的朋友!!!
就算他们在怎样说我。。。
他们还是我。。。。
最珍贵的朋友!!!!!
友情万岁!!!!!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

给”爱“的一个POST

很多人都在谈恋爱吧,包括我在内。
但为什么就是维持不久?
先不要说我,我的忽冷忽热就算了。
今天写这个就是要来谈论“爱”。
为什么有人要爱,但又恐惧和害怕爱?
怕失去,怕他不爱,怕他不信任,怕这个怕那个。
干你的,怕什么啊?你都注定要飞身扑向这段恋情了你还怕什么?
怕也没有啊,因为要发生的都是会发生的啊,你怎样躲都没有用啊。
为什么你就是不肯说,好吧,为了让双方有个开心的分手我们分手吧。
但,大家都知道,全世界能做到酱的地步的人也没有超过十个吧。
感情这门东西吗,没有人能忍着不爆发出来吧。
尤其是女的,往往当男的要跟女的分手时,女的就会。。
“为什么?为什么你要跟我分手!!”
“我们之间发生了什么事,为什么要跟我分手?!”
“拜托你!请不要跟我分手可以吗?!没有你我活不成了!!”
当然,现在都是什么世界了,现在的女人都很强。
强到完全可以说“分就分咯,没什么大不了。"
干她的,这种女人才够爽快,有够强的!!
好,回到男的那方面,很多人都想,当分手的时候都是男的不要女的。
但你就大错特错了,其实我也不是很清楚为什么你们会酱来想。
但最少错的也不全是男的,用一用头脑想一想,为什么现在还有这么多的“啊宅”?
就是因为现在的女孩子要求太高了。
如~不帅不要,不壮不要,不高不要,没钱不要,没评不要。
所以说,为什么现在有这么多同性恋,大部分的问题都出在这一边。
然而敢爱敢恨还是人们的口头禅。
有些人可以爱到不知世界末日的来临还可以居续爱下去。
有些人就爱到完全不理不踩但还想居续爱下去是因为面子的问题。
有些人更离谱,像铁打尼号改良版酱,“你跳我不跳!”
爱吗~~都是酱。要爱就爱到底,不要的话就请放手。
我的朋友有有一封信息是说,你如果不爱那个人,请你放手,好让别人爱他。
说的对啊,没有意思的爱情你还坚持个屁啊,干脆放开你的双手,让自己自由一下。
感觉回以前单身的生活,也不错一下的。
世界这么大,不要害怕没有人要爱你或者找不到你爱的人。
看的只是缘分,运气,但是我都不支持这两样东西。
因为,真的很不长久。所以,你需要的是。
如要去杀人般的勇气,小强般的顽强,还有你那不懂从哪里来的意志。
所以说只是时机还没到而已,所以呢,咱们来等吧。
如果那“三个女生”看到这个的话,请留下你的感想吧。
我也希望你们找到一个爱你的人,和你们爱的人啊。
希望你们不会吐糟我这个post啦。

不想长大。

以前的我很想做一个大人。为什么?
可能是因为做了大人过后就可以做很多东西吧。
喝酒啦,赚钱啦,去旅行啦,泡仔啦。
然后,还想要做这个做那个。
但当一切都长大后,什么都不同了。
对现在的我而言,我真的很不想做大人。
很烦,真的很烦。
烦就是为了钱,工作,家庭,事业而烦。
刚刚,他跟我说了很多计划说你要这个那个。
但我可以跟你说,有听,有懂,但就是很不想去实行。
力不从心,野心太大,但他就是不肯停下来给我解释。
就算解释了,他还是会跟我咬回来。
不是我不喜欢听,但是我这个年龄接受不来。
你懂吗?突如其来的感觉,是多么辛苦。
哑巴吃黄连,真的是有口难言。
但,当我想回来,我真的要想了。
是时候该想了,想怎样度过未来。
但我还是那一句,我会尽量。

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

shall i continue?

now day i feel like so empty and boring.....
i don know why....
before that he complain about we should love like an adult....
but....wat the adult means is...
less contact less message....and also less talk is it?
i don even know wat the meaning of adult love.....
i only know...if thing keep like this....
one day we will break....
maybe it becoz of our working time....
i work in the night....he work in the morning....
yet...he is a ultra busy men...
everyday meeting here and meeting there.....
yet...when we chat on phone....
i cant even find a topic to talk for it...
i will silence for a while and thinking wat i should said or tell you....
maybe it becoz of the age?
i try to keep this love as hard as possible....
yet i don want to think those nonsense thing to break the love between u and me...
but i don know why i will still thinking of it....
and u promise me today u will going to have a dinner with me but....
maybe u too busy so u forget....
and u said that u are headache...so i don want to disturb u and let you have a gud rest....
in my mind....
i will think that...
shall i change a new one?
did u curious me wether i got go find another one?
shall i keep this love?
shall i trust you?
shall i believe in you when u said u are busy?
i don know....im very confuse now.......
wat can i do?wat should i do?wat shall i do?
a love that cannot let people know is very painful u know...
im scare to tell u all about this....it becoz....i don want to end up like this....
and sometime when i message u...
and u din reply for it...
after that u will give me some reason like...
ooo....yesterday very tired and i sleep already....
i having a meeting....
the most worst reason i heard from u is...on sunday...
after i have a great run for the real run....
i said wether i can go sleep on your bed or not...
u just give me an answer like....
im in church now....chat u later....
the later is about 5 hour.....
this is the problem.....
everytime u also want me to wait for your response.....
sometimes is just a while...
sometimes is about 5~8 hours......
sometimes more worst.....for whole day then i just can get the answer by tomorrow....
is this really wat their call love?
i really don know....heart pain is for sure....
i tell someone tat i trust that im in love with you....
but.....is this really are love?
one of my friends said why cant u find a girlfriends?
it will be more happy when your parents see.....
i don know....i feel so sry to her....that day we almost argue it just becoz of this love....
but now i will wait and see.....
i wont said anything and take any action yet.....
i will just wait...................wait for the answer....

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Am i Useless......

just a day has been pass away....
ive been on leave for 8 days.....
i go back my home town to celebrate my birthday......
but why...other people birthday...their friends will find for them.....but....
why don have any friends is doing this to me?
for this whole week....
i find my friends for celebrate my birthday....
and have very boring and tired week....
im happy coz i still can find some friends to go out....
but just some....not all...
i know....their all go work or study....
maybe it just not the right time to go out....
i thought i can enjoy my week when i going back to my home town.....
but....something is missing and something is wrong.......
i don know wat is that....
but i can feel it......something not right......
for the first three day is fun.....coz i can meet my JB friends.....
but....the day pass so fast.....the day i come back to singapore.....
i feel like....so empty.....i cant even know wat im doing for the week.....
wat in my brain now it just a empty and white.....
and.....im thinking wat should i do after i resign.....
wat im doing now is the road that already fix by my uncle....
i cant come in singapore to work without my uncle help......
yet.....their all take care of me so much i think it becoz of my uncle.....
if not....im just a stranger for them......
i plan to study a part time designer.....
but i still have to work to gain some money......
i cant even leave singapore now....
wat i plan for next year.....
i thought i can rest for one or two month.....but....
wat about my rent?wat about my broadband.....
who going to pay for me.......
i cant even think about the future........
wat im doing it just only know how to said......
din take any action at all....
wat can i do?
i hope i can find someone to solve my problem.....
i hope someone can give me some opinion and suggestion.....
to let me build a road that i can walk.....
but...the execute is im still young.....wat can i do?
am i useless?am i not gud enough for them?
am i......still cant step on the world?
having a first step?

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Happy?

one more day that i go out with you....
is really happy that i can see you wear so casual.....
i thought u just 20++ years old while u wear like this....hahaha.....
is really great......
although this is a love that cannot let much people know.....
but who is reading this blog...pls.....
is nth wrong to have a good love between me and wu......
just don use a different eyesight look at us....
i don mind if u really want to think like tat......
and when i think about this.....
some people said if our parents knew that we have a happy life ever....their will happy also...
but why i don think so?
i will think that their want u just follow their own way.....
and that will bring u to a happy life.......
i can said that is totally wrong....
that one call control.....still cant consider as let u go.....
so.....
i try to tell my parent but.......
i think hide from them is more better than let them know wat was happen right?
some secret cannot be share.......
once their know about your dirty little secret u will going have a bad life ever......
so just remember......
if u want a happy life....
u must know how to hide something......
lie infront of them.....
don tell the truth........
it will make u have a good way.....
and don think this is a wrong thing....
no and never.......
coz this is the best way that u want continue the relationship between a lover.......

Thursday, October 22, 2009

the day we meet......Wu........

a day tat i online till midnight 4 oclock......
i go log in a website and search for someone to chat on.......
im so lucky i get 2 or 3 person attention.....
their tall to me......
but cant last long coz their all search for something else.......
after tat......i meet u.....Wu.......
u chat with me but just a while......
u ask for trading photo..........
somehow i trade also......
coz there no reason tat i don want trade.......
after trade.......from the first scene u look so old.....but is quite ok for me......
still remember the first time i saw your photo......
hahaaha......
after some other day........
i message u and u din reply for some hours.....
i scare.....i scare u wont reply me at all......
but suddenly i receive your message and u said.......
taken your dinner?wat time is your working hour......don know wat time i should talk with u......
and after tat...also the same....take sometime just can get your message back........
when im on the game tat day.......u request to send a picture tat look natural......
and u send one for me also......look more old than before that one.....hahaha.....
after tat i drop u a call.....chat about 10 minute suddenly u end the phone call and message me said.......
call you tomorrow....just spill some water and will go shower.......
finally.....we meet up at tuesday...........
when i saw you.....you look great then the photo......u wearing a sunglasses........and whole formal......carrying a black bag....
we go in to the TCC and have a coffee.........
we talk and chat......for one hour........and u try to get to know me more when i was young......
why i will become like this........
and i have to said tat day i cant even look at u becoz.........i don know how to face u.........
im so shy on tat day........
after the coffee.......u take me to see your block.......just near by the bugis.........
after that u give me a big hug......u also give me kiss......
(something is missing....sry cant write it at here.......shy)
i like the feeling......i like u hug me........i like u stare at me......
i like u kiss on my face........and u said im cute also........
and u make me more shy than before.........
i cant even face to face when talking to you........
tat day......i just don want to leave u.......i want continue hug u like tat.......
but u gotta go........no choice.......
but after i left......
i cant control myself thinking about you.......
all the way home im thinking about you.........
im really miss you........
when the night come.....u said u have a ticket of a animation.....
9 oclock......but i din make it.......
but suddenly u said u are watching the animation......
suddenly i angry with you.........
but i got said im sorry to u coz it was my fault that im said something not really gud to heard......
the next day morning......i cant even fall asleep yesterday.......
when 9am.....i send a message to you.....coz u want me meet u today at 1 oclock.......
is so sweet tat u take some of your time out......
just want to fetch me to the east coast to take a look the sea........
is so sweet.........is really sweet........
on that day i really cant talk to you face to face coz i more shy when we are on the car.........
just both of us........
u keep said im cute.......
it really very charming.......
everytime i when i think about the scene u said im cute and the scene that u hug me.....
the feeling is so comfortable........
i think i fall in a deep love now.......
a love tat......between u and me........
i want to know u more.......
i cant control myself to thinking about you.........sometime.....it make me shy......
i love you so much......
this is for real.......
and this is wat make me feel so shy and happy now......

for the real and true......
by Leong Cheng Wei

Thursday, October 15, 2009

tomodachi....

已有好一段日子没有写了。。。。
前几天买了水上男孩二来看。。。。
我好羡慕他们的友情。。。。
他们的友情简直是耀眼到我无法张开我的眼睛。。。。
结局是多么的悲哀和不舍得。。。。
天下无不散的宴会吗。。。。
这是不可能的。。。。
总是会有一天要结束和告别。。。。
但我们所经历的一切都会在我们的头脑徘徊。。。。
因为这个是无法给抹去的。。。。
虽然真的有某一天我们忘了。。。。
但只要是小小的琐碎事情。。。。
都会让我们回想到过去。。。。
那段在学校的日子。。。。
那段和朋友一同打仗的日子。。。。
那段一起开心大笑的日子。。。。
那段一起做过无数难以忘记的事情。。。。
一起建立一个属于他们的世界。。。。
刚刚看了朋友的部落客。。。。
她是我在做工认识的。。。。
她们都有一段我一直以来都想要的友情。。。。
她把她昨天在学校玩的照片放上她的部落客。。。。
在看到那张照片的第一时间。。。。
很幸福,很满足,很羡慕。。。。
她们都有一个很为得朋友的班级。。。。
虽然她们过不久就要分开了。。。。
但她们还是会尽全力的争取时间。。。。
然而她们的结局是如何我都大约猜到了。。。。
我再此祝福他们的友情万岁。。。
希望他们不要忘了他们如何在这两年里面认识对方和了解对方。。。。。
也希望他们会再次回想起他们的身边有一个多么为了他们的朋友。。。。
我也不懂为什么自己那么地为朋友。。。。
可能是星座在搞怪吧。。。。
天蝎座的我。。。。
什么都没有但就是很尊重朋友和崇拜朋友。。。。
我是这么认为啦。。。。
但也不懂他们会不会这样想。。。。
我有很多朋友但我却没有一个可以谈心事的。。。。
但我很满足。。。。
因为我在这个世界里认识了他/她们。。。。
我才可以很高兴的生活下去。。。。
他们是我的活力和支持。。。。
虽然平时的他们没什么会理我。。。。
但至少我知道他们在某处很开心的过着他们想要的生活就已经足够了。。。。
我不会怪我的朋友忘了我。。。。
因为他们都有自己的朋友群。。。。
我会学着放弃以前的事。。。。
来一个新的自己。。。。
因为。。。。
朋友这个字对我很有影响力。。。。

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Here to Decribe Myself......

my name is Leong Chen Wei....
im a 19 years old boy......
im a malaysian......
i live in a small town name Seremban.....
located at Negeri Sembilan......
i have two sister and a younger brother.....
i live in a broken family but it already a long time ago......
i like to play volleyball......
i like to listen english music.....
my hobbys is to become a bartender but that also pass....
im stay at singapore right now......
im a waiter now at a comepany name Les Amis......
im not a money saver.....
i like friends....
im a bisexual......
im wearing a spec.......
im 169cm and 69kg......
my english is bad.......
my chinese not tat gud also....
i like black and white colour.......
i like to play maple story.....
im a very shy guy......

emotion

i am a person tat very emotional.....
my emotion never fix.....
just like standing on a fragile glass.......
u don know wat will happen next.......
maybe it will break?
maybe it will keep like tat?
maybe......it will get harder and harder?
don know.....
one minute before i can be very happy......
after one minute i can be very sad or angry.....
actually i really don like to become like this...
but i cant control myself to become like this.....
.....................................................

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Love

is all bout love.....boring....
love....does not exist in my world......
but i don like someone betray their lover.....
i don like someone fall in love with someone but his/her heart still got somebody....
this is somekind of like bullshit love.....
is you want to keep like this you better don......
more better you just let it go and go the way you wanna go.....
if you keep like this......
don think this will last longer....
NEVER AND NEVER!!!!
sometime when this kind of problem coming.....just ask your heart....
feel your heart....
go touch your heart....
ask back your heart wat is the asnwer tat appear in the first sense....
human will cover all the answer when their receive from their heart in the first sense....
use their own way.....and the most faster way to cover al of that.....
just like me......
i ask my friend tat shall i continue my way?
she said im a nice and kind boy tat will find a guy girl......
and treat your girl in a very gud way.....
i feel so happy......i will get myself a girl friends.....
but after i ask back my heart.....
is it really tat i will get a girl friend and start a happy life with them?
or just maybe i want show tat i have a girl friend?
or maybe i want to show tat im normal?
or............
i just want to be friend back with him so i go after a girl?
tats my answer from my heart.....
yes......this is the first answer in my heart....
i want to friend back with him.....so i want to try this.....
but.......i cant do this....
i din manage to do wat i was thinking......
start from that day that i tell him all the thing....
start from the day he scare about me.....
start from the day he avoid me....
i am in a down....sad......suicide mood....
i cant even forget wat i did to him.....
i cant even forgive myself tat i using a honest way to make more closer to him.....
this thing stuck in my heart already for one month.......
keep running around my heart.......
like a rolling blade.....
tat day he left.....i was looking for him....
but i fail.....but when i sightly looking back....
i saw him at the toilet entrance.....hiding there.....
i saw.....but i din go back......i know tat he will going in and don come out until i left....
after tat....the day he last......
i also never had a chance to said im sorry to him........
is it show tat....this is the end of the friendship between me and him?
the thing stuck in my heart is not love......
is just a simple word......
Friends.........
i hate myself for giving him a honest answer.....
i hate myself why i will feel a crush with him.....
i hate myself tat i din manage to said im sorry to him.....
i hate myself to giving him a nightmare in his whole life.......
i hate myself and don even want to forgive myself.......
i hate........

Saturday, September 19, 2009

another day has come........

i have to use some music to let me have a feel to write blog.......
yiruma will the best selection.....coz.....
im not happy.....
today i talk to myself.....tat....
i don care anything at all.....
he want to listen or don want to listen is not my problem already.....
but when i saw him.....
he run like when mouse saw a cat......
but i keep telling myself i don care for tat.....
u want to listen wat im said or don want.....
i don care bout it.....
u have your right way tat don listen to me....
im very angry......
but.......when im thinking.....
when im start thinking tat how.....
how we become like this......
i feel so sad and like a guilty people......
is all because of me....now he escape from me...
because of me he don afraid of me.....
today i tell myself tat i will go and talk to him.....
but i din do tat......
i keep said tat he is nothing but just a coward......
he don like to face wat he are facing now....
he choose run away from it...
he...........
afraid......scare......of me......
when i ask myself why......
ask my heart why.......
the answer already very clear.....
but i try not to accept tat......
i don like to become like this......
friends is all my life......my precious thing in my life....
i don like my friends gone so suddenly......
i hate this.....
why he still cant understand.......
the way he did everytime he saw me.....
im feel like a guilty people.......
i tell myself tat i will find a girlfriends.....
for wat........
for love?
for fun?
or maybe.......
i just want someone know tat im a normal guy.......?
this is the answer tat come out from heart.....
i don like this answer but i.......
have to face it.....
keep like this....
the wound in the heart will keep deeper and deeper....
i try to said......
everytime i tell myself i try to said.....
today i tell myself i will said something with him......
but.......
i din do tat.......
i just realize......im the one who is nothing but just a........
coward........
i just try to said..........
can we be friend again...........?
Ken...........im sorry......................

Sunday, September 13, 2009

X

今天我很勇敢。。。
我看到他。。。但他却逃避我。。。
当我追前去时。。。他却越跑越远。。。
当我开口说:“听我解释好吗?”
他却说:“我去厕所洗手。。。”
但他却越跑越远。。。
当我在厕所等他的时候。。。我的手在紧抓着开酒器。。。
因为我的手不停地在颤抖着。。。
当他出来的时候。。。他却又在给我另一个借口。。。
到最后我也没有说到我想说的话。。。
他却一走了之。。。
当我出去四处找他的时候。。。
他正坐在椅子上不知在等什么。。。
当我上前正准备要跟他解释的时候。。。
他又在逃避了。。。
我没放弃。。。我追前去。。。。
但他就是不肯停下来给我解释。。。
我就这样停下了我的脚步。。。
我无法再做任何的事情。。。
他。。。完全不给时间我解释。。。
他。。。完完全全地在逃避着我。。。
我只是想跟他说清楚。。。
我不想再这么的难受了。。。
我也不想他再逃避了。。。
让一个朋友讨厌的那种感觉很难受。。。
难受得死去活来。。。
我无法原谅自己。。。
但我不会放弃。。。
机会不是没有。。。
我一定会跟他解释清楚。。。
然而。。。我在我的手上割了一个“X”。。。
已便改天我看到。。。
我会记得我犯下了什么错误。。。
我真的不想失去任何一个朋友。。。
这句话是对的。。。
“说错话了。。。友情不可能了。。。”
还有。。。我从中学到了一样东西。。。
如果你想跟某某人做朋友。。。
有些东西该隐瞒的就瞒着,不要让他人知道。。。
一旦知道了。。。
好则还有朋友做。。。
坏则。。。你就会变成他的敌人。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

Thursday, September 10, 2009

我醉了。。。

我醉了。。。。
我醉到一塌糊涂。。。。
我醉到乱七八糟。。。。
我再已无法做一个清醒的人了。。。。
到底是什么东西搞的我如此的不清醒。。。。
到底是为了什么。。。。
我已不知道我的去向了。。。。
我已迷失我的去向了。。。。
我已无法像往常般回到那条我该回去的道路了。。。。
那个路灯。。。。
我不小心给弄坏了。。。。
那条道路。。。。
明明还有很长的路还没走。。。。
明明还有很多很好的东西在前面等着我去看。。。。
但为什么那时的我会那么不小心的把它给弄坏了。。。。
当时的我很混乱。。。。
不知该怎么做。。。。
我试着去修补它。。。。
我以为修补过后会和以往的一样。。。。
当我还以为它可以照亮前面的道路给我的时候。。。。
但。。。。
它却变得更加弱。。。。
它也无法像以往般的明亮。。。。
它也无法像以往般的照耀着我。。。。
让我进入那条道路。。。。
当我远离它去找办法来修补它的时候。。。。
它却亮了起来。。。。
但当我回头看的时候。。。。
它却又再暗淡无光了。。。。
我。。。。
只能在原地站着。。。。
无法前进也不敢后退。。。。
我想哭。。。。
可是。。。。
我的眼眶不允许我只样做。。。。
难道你就不能给我多一次的机会来照亮着我吗。。。。
当回想起来。。。。
都怪当初自己为什么把你给弄坏了。。。。

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

the rose.....

a week had already pass away.....
i still din manage to make a phone call to him....
coz the answer will always be the same.....
i tell myself tat.....i will never give up..
i will never give up.....until i found out tat....
it is already end up a long time ago.....
but why i feel like i don care all bout this already....?
maybe the time wash away all the sad thing inside my heart?
maybe i just want........just want to let it go?
or maybe......i know a new friend?
so i just start ti give up?
but when i wake up from tat.....
i keep telling myself cant give up yet....
i still have time.....i still have to......
have to.........make it.....
although i know it is hard......
i don know why i don have any idea.....
tat can blog my day......
i try to....but my hand will keep blog about tat.......

Monday, September 7, 2009

paiseh leh......

just now i saw back my previous blog.....tat i blog two years ago....
paiseh leh........many wrong sentences.....many wrong word....
but.....one thing is gud...
im happy with it.....
a new day has come.....
a old day should pass away.....
saw back my blog is very fun.....all the nonsense thing pop up in my mind....
hahahaa.....funny.....one more thing.......
i just realize my english got improve a bit already....hahaha
and one more....
i miss my friend....i hope i can always around them.....
some i already lost contact with them......but is still posibble to find them though other ppl...
life is like this.........
u have to keep it up....
don fall....don stop....
don panic.....don cry.....
this word is for you ar wai......
keep your way and don let ppl change your way....
friends can change your life but not change your way....
friends are the pill tat can boots your energy...
their can give you opinion....but their cant change wat you think....
but pls remember tat.....friends is your energy.....
pls forgive someone tat make you mad and pls make sure you promise yourself....
just like the movie....up..
CROSS YOUR HEART!!!!!
deal........friends is here to help you and you have to take care of them......
don forget wat you said......
u will saw this....then u will remember wat you did....and...
im here to talk to you....my future me.......gambateh....
akiramenai yo......yakusoku......i will post somemore on other day.....

is a bad mood week.......sigh*......

somehow.....i try my best to give it all i have.....
but he don want to forgive me and give me a chance to become his friend again......wat can i do?
haizzz.......i really don like to lost any friend in my life......
i don want he keep misunderstanding.....
i just want to be friend back.....
i got ask my friend....both of them....
is girl....my best friend also.....
their said just let the time pass.....only time can cure...
he don want to pick up my phone call.....
he don want see my message...
he........he afraid of me......
wat can i do if next time i saw him?
wat action shall i take when someday we meet at outside?
wat.......wat time just i can tell him tat.....
im sry............
he din give me any time to explain wat i want to tell him....
i just want to said.....
i don want it to become to be like this.....
i just want to become a friend in your life.....
it come from the bottom of my heart.....
im sorry.....can we be friend again?

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

for Ken......hope you see this before you resign.......

since last time i send you a message tat inside has this word....
"i want to give it a try....."
"i want to give it a shoot......"
"if (acceptable) fine....."
"we continue as wat we are as friend...."
"but if fail...."
"we will become enemy......"
after all....i din manage to said wat i want to said.....
im not a men but just a coward tat only know protect myself.....
im not a men but just a person tat if i think i want it tat way....
then the thing must be on my hand....
im so selfish.....
i want you always ask something about me.........
i want you always talk to me and sms me no matter wat situation it is.....
but i.......
i........
i din manage to tell wat i want to tell you....
i din manage to said i want to see you everyday...
i din manage to get you.........by myself.....
i............
i don want to destroy your life.....
you....
is a gud guy.....
you....
got alot of future waiting for you.....
but when i think bout you......
my mind just cant stop reload the picture of you......
my friend said this is just a crush tat will end up just a while ......
but why this thing keep in my mind for a long time......
i din manage to..........forget......
i don want to lost you....
i hope you understand......
i hope we still can be friend......
at this moment i wish i could cry....but i...
din do tat.........
sry ken.......
sry ken.............