Is.....

Is getting hard to keep on going
when there is really no one that can help you work out the problem that you have
what i want is just a little encourage by someone that really appreciate what i did
i do everything becoz i take it so serious
is part of my job
is part of my responsibility
why cant take it serious while u know what to do
im getting tired
im getting lazy
im getting
ANGRY
i was consider shall i really go point out the thing that u dont even know what to do?
shall i really go and said what u really weak on?
i dont think i got that strength to tell you anything anymore
i was so lazy
but
i give my thx to my fren which is one of my supplier
he give me advice to continue and see how it goes
he give me the reason why i have to wait and see the situation
and
i was so regret that
why i quit
Canele
i miss all my colleague and the time at there
i miss my regular there
i miss the shift there
i miss the paper work there
i miss the
................coffee art there.....................
i was so

BUSTED

Im back...

well....
is been quite some time i never update my blog....
actually i do have lots of things want to post on.....
but i was just too lazy....ive been quite some time never open my laptop to update my facebook also....
all the game inside never get update also....
since when.........
after i go taiwan....
haha.....
well.....
really feel so tired for the new job now...
miscommunication with my colleague and staff....
jobs sucks for moment being....
yet....i really dont like people who dont appreciate those thing that we did for them....
very tired.....

Bastard!!

I was so damn bastard...

i fall in love with someone that i cant fall in love with...

was really suffering when i saw him...

i just don know why...

just start from last two year,everytime i saw him i will stick to him so close.

i cant said like a brother,coz we really are some bother ( relationship )

for me he was damn nice to communicate...a nice person to date with...

but so bad he got girls friends.

Was really controlling myself everytime when i meet him.

few day ago he come to my home and look for my us to have a drink...

really enjoy the moment when i go out and buy something with him....

and when we attend the same wedding dinner...just sit infront of me...

i know!! is weird....but no worry...i controlling myself...

sigh.....bless....i always like a person that i cant fall in love with....if not it going to have a big problem....like world destruction?haha.....sigh.....

A marriage...

Few days ago...i attend my cousin wedding.

It was so fun...when i saw lots of brother is celebrating with them.

What was inside my mind in that moment...

I dont even know i can have a marriage like this or not...

Is complicated...

I hope when the day that i have my own marriage...

I will invite lots of my brother and friends come my wedding dinner...

Singapore....my hometown....my friends that i know...

It is really fun...you can play with them in the wedding dinner...

Sing song,drink drunk drank~take picture,cry together...

Giving Blessing by them...Cry infront of them....

Finally become a real guy that have a family....

I just dont know why i like it lots...but so bad...i know it will never ever happen in my life...

Was really complicated....

Choosing a way that never return is pain...but was a fate...

wondering...

Actually was wondering....when can i really have a proper boyfriend.

This is a question that i keep asking myself.

If i get it so sudden will i really go and keep it for long?

My friends has been telling me that keep on dating but dont have more closer relation if it was just started.

But the problem is i dont really dare to go and date someone that i want...

What i scare for? Got no idea on that.

My friend scold me that i always think too much....

It haven start but your mind already start to think lots of junk.

Those couple that i date before or their date me before....It cant even last long for few month...

Maybe i just haven get ready on it?

Been trying to go club and looking for it but...so bad i dont dare to try...

Coz i know it is just for fun...those people inside the club wasnt treat you in true heart.

When their saw your face...only thing that pop out inside their mind is...This guy is "FUCKABLE"

Thats true.all people inside the club wasnt treat you in true...their just need some one to fuck.

But if lucky enough...you really can get one...

I like sun tanning....know why?

First i like the color...second i like myself to get more attract...coz i saw lots of boy with nice tan color.Third...i like tan guys as well...dont you feel a bit more tan will be more great?

somehow...i already done tanning for twice...but i dont think is enough for me...still a long way to go...

Was really wondering...what those boy like...and what am i inside their eyes.....

A

Was really don't know what im doing right now...

Was it really a pure love...or really just a critical crush...

it has been one and half month...

ive been trying so hard to forget everything in this two month...

everything seems so right after the first month...

im happy...im working...im marathon-ing...im volleyball-ing...

but why...but why when i saw him i still cant forget him...

his smile...his joke...his words....his action...his anger...

the most unforgettable thing is...he so sweet and nice...

i recall every moment that we been together...

is an extremely short time that we been together...

but is just the way too sweet for me...

he is really are the perfect one for me...

he is the one who make me so happy when i can date with the right guy...

he is the one who i can really give my heart away....

he is the one who make me feel like so protected...

he is also....the only one....i cry for....

i never cry for anyone...anyone except those who treat me good and nice...

"we barely know each other"

this is the word that come out from his heart...

i agree what he said....i agree...although my heart was not...

he told me to move on...he told me to take time and recover...

time....recover...

do you think a broken heart can really use the time as a thing that can recover the crack?

no....

do you think a broken heart can use other love to cover the crack?

no...

DO YOU THINK A BROKEN HEART!!!CAN RECOVER SO EASILY??!!

NO!YOU TOTALLY WRONG!!

.......u been hurt me once....this pain...i remember...

but im not hate you at all...im not....

i know...as long as u are still alive....i still have a small chance to be with you again....

although the chance is less than 1 percent....

but now....

everything change...

you choose someone that...is more good than me...

more nice...more good...more...perfect than me....

when i was in the game...im keep searching you....

searching for your shadow...but....

what i get is....u already have it...the one that really can suit u well...

you right...my friends...

i shouldnt appear in court so early...

"time can recover everything..."

i dont give a damn on what time can recover everything...

i believe in escape the truth..the reality...will be more effective than time...

but i didnt....i was facing the reality now...

my heart is pain....

my heart is bleeding....

where are you...why when i need you to be my side...

Let me cry on your shoulder...

Let me hug you and talk to you....

Let me play ur ear and look at your eyes...

Let me just sleep beside you...

Just let me..........................................going back to the time that we been together.....can i....?

i had enough of lonely....

you are really the one who light me up....guild my way to a pure love....

i was....................................trying to cry for sometime....

but....i cant...........................................................................................................................i want to cry....

New

Since last time i post something on facebook said...i like him...no matter what i wont change.you can go on ahead to be friend with me still...or you want anti me also can..i wont bother...i am who i am still.

I was very happy when i receive some comment from my friends...although is just 3...but it make me so happy...one of my dear said no matter how it is i will still be your best friends Love ya!!one said very good!be the one who u are and not fear about anything! the last one i forget what she said already...

It was few week ago...since i post the last post....i was getting well and well...

Just last week i when to the meet up for volleyball i saw him...before i saw him i was inside the changing room...while im changing my Iphone was accidentally drop on floor and crack!

But when i look at it i didnt feel any sadness...what im thinking that time is...o...crack already...go and change the screen should be fine...

but when i finish changing...i walk inside the court i saw him...I dont know why my mood suddenly get bad...and when i look at him i feel like i wanna cry...

I never talk to him that day...although got chance i also don want talk to him...

I try to avoid him...i dont know why...i scare when i talk to him again i will cry again....

It was so scary....i try to avoid to play court with him...digging with him...just everything...i try not to do and said anything to him.

But he still that sweet and nice for me...his smile...his eyes....everything is so nice...but is no longer for me...

After the game...im on my way home...suddenly i receive a message from him...he said am i ok?im look so angry.I look at the message and thinking...why dont u ask when im still at the court...

You dont even treat me as a friends do u?u dont even want to open ur mouth to talk to me....after few message...it ends up like the same as before...he never reply my message...this is the part i hate the most....why dont u just try to said something to end up the conversation?

After that i told one of my friend that know everything about me and him,...he was telling me that...he already move on so do u....try looking for another relationship...or maybe just stop think about those thing.he already said he don want to accept another relationship yet so just deal with that.

Yes...since that day i told my friends how im feel...i was more better than 3 weeks ago...

Yet...im already start a new relationship....i think im kindda happy with him now...although it just few day only...but im fine with it.

I try not to think to much to let myself worry.i know i can do better than before....as long as he think im ok to have a relationship....hehe