It's been quite a while.

Since the last blog, its almost two years? i was kinda surprised by myself for what i wrote previously. Maybe until now my English still wasn't really that good? But at least is way better than two years ago. Well...what so good to blog again? Been through hell, lost most off my precious things that i had last year. My god-father, he passed away. Some stupid reason then he go suicide, stupid ah pa ever, but i still love him. My partner at that moment,  Ariff is in a total paranoid situation, and i kinda broke up with him coz i barely can handle him anymore. My job, my sport, my friend...all break apart. Most importantly...my love. I try not to blog anything about him coz i know i will cry again...even read back what i wrote in Facebook, i still cried like nobody business. What can i do? who can i love? who will understand such situation? who willingly to accept someone is full of diseases that be his partner, walk together and live together, taking care each other, eating together, movie together, hug together...even sleep together. is so tragedy when come to think about it. I do thinking of suicide at that moment... but i didn't. Why. because my friend ask me so. Basically my friends is everything to me. live without friends? then i better go and suicide now. They help me a lot while im lost, they guide me through a lot, they taking care of me a lot. in front of them im just like a kid that never grow up, always pamper me, always joke with me, always tease me, always bring me around. but somehow...i fail them. i fail them by having such condition, i fail them by not listening to them, i fail them by almost giving up my life, i fail them by not able to be beside them anymore. But some of them said...life goes on, nor shall stop, and i gotta move on.

sigh.....what to aspect more? nothing much. a life...still... a complicated life for me.