Since the last blog, its almost two years? i was kinda surprised by myself for what i wrote previously. Maybe until now my English still wasn't really that good? But at least is way better than two years ago. Well...what so good to blog again? Been through hell, lost most off my precious things that i had last year. My god-father, he passed away. Some stupid reason then he go suicide, stupid ah pa ever, but i still love him. My partner at that moment, Ariff is in a total paranoid situation, and i kinda broke up with him coz i barely can handle him anymore. My job, my sport, my friend...all break apart. Most importantly...my love. I try not to blog anything about him coz i know i will cry again...even read back what i wrote in Facebook, i still cried like nobody business. What can i do? who can i love? who will understand such situation? who willingly to accept someone is full of diseases that be his partner, walk together and live together, taking care each other, eating together, movie together, hug together...even sleep together. is so tragedy when come to think about it. I do thinking of suicide at that moment... but i didn't. Why. because my friend ask me so. Basically my friends is everything to me. live without friends? then i better go and suicide now. They help me a lot while im lost, they guide me through a lot, they taking care of me a lot. in front of them im just like a kid that never grow up, always pamper me, always joke with me, always tease me, always bring me around. but somehow...i fail them. i fail them by having such condition, i fail them by not listening to them, i fail them by almost giving up my life, i fail them by not able to be beside them anymore. But some of them said...life goes on, nor shall stop, and i gotta move on.
sigh.....what to aspect more? nothing much. a life...still... a complicated life for me.
Friday, September 26, 2014
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
End
This is the end
the end of the day for the date
between
me
and
jorge
nothing to sad with
just move on
and learn a lesson
life
have to go on
just
believe in the next person
who i shall
fall in love with
30th Nov 2011
was a fuck up day...when i awake....is already 7 oclock...i said OMG!!!! im late for work!!!! my alarm....just really cannot wake me up....maybe i am really tired until i cant heard the alarm...anyway.;....i quickly wake up and brush...i just use a 10 minute to do everything and then left the home and call my work place and tell whoever is there and let them know that ill be late...and the person is terence....so....i take cab to work place...i was so busted...waste money also....use a least a 10 dollar for it....sigh....seriously not my day..
then after i reach my work place...i quickly do the set up...and arrange table...coz by 730 need to open the store...so today i work bar until 11...but before that i was so damn emo...i try to control myself not to cry...and stop emo..lucky the work keep me calm down if not im sure cry or emo already....terence sense that when i said can call someone to take over me now....then i tell him that i have a lot of issue in my mind now...they all suddenly blow up....
so...i when to toilet and cool down a while...then get some food to eat at the office area....then suddenly terence come in and talk to me....thats the reason why i follow him...be part of his colleague...coz he understanding....he know everyone does have lots of issue...but try not bring them to work...especially when u have some problem at work...coz this will affect the family/money/love ...then when u affect them...it will bring back to work....so...try to control...or try to talk to them if im willing to share....then im good....coz i finally wake up from there...
then after that i message jorge...and i tell him those feeling that i felt now...and....thats all for me and him....today will be the end of the date.....one and half month....not bad...consider good....finally...i make myself clear....and he just said that dont waste my time on him...he not a good guy to be with...i have totally no idea...but never mind...its all over....im single again....after that...i just head back to work...and im doing well....coz the emo is pass...
so...i know i was late..feel bad...but i have to get through from that...coz terence said is not an issue....so..ya...so before my shift end...alvaro ask me to pack those bean..so i just pack it..is four big tub....and it seems it will take a lot of time...but...since outside is damn heavy rain also...so i cant make a move...and finish pack all the bean...then go home around 5...and i meet kennedy at TPY also....for dinner...
then i pass him my phone and let him see what jorge message me...then suddenly he type something and send it out...when he pass back to me and i just realize the message is damn serious...i thought we going to have and happy ending...but then i think kennedy make it worst...so..ya...but actually im quite happy that kennedy send him the message also....sigh...anyway...we go eat the YI Mian as usual then i go his place and relak a while then i just make a move...
finally...i think i can really go diet...suntanning....save up some money...and do those thing i want...no need to think so much...and this is really out of my expected...im not that sad that i thought....haha....great....i can go on and date someone out again....
so...i when to toilet and cool down a while...then get some food to eat at the office area....then suddenly terence come in and talk to me....thats the reason why i follow him...be part of his colleague...coz he understanding....he know everyone does have lots of issue...but try not bring them to work...especially when u have some problem at work...coz this will affect the family/money/love ...then when u affect them...it will bring back to work....so...try to control...or try to talk to them if im willing to share....then im good....coz i finally wake up from there...
then after that i message jorge...and i tell him those feeling that i felt now...and....thats all for me and him....today will be the end of the date.....one and half month....not bad...consider good....finally...i make myself clear....and he just said that dont waste my time on him...he not a good guy to be with...i have totally no idea...but never mind...its all over....im single again....after that...i just head back to work...and im doing well....coz the emo is pass...
so...i know i was late..feel bad...but i have to get through from that...coz terence said is not an issue....so..ya...so before my shift end...alvaro ask me to pack those bean..so i just pack it..is four big tub....and it seems it will take a lot of time...but...since outside is damn heavy rain also...so i cant make a move...and finish pack all the bean...then go home around 5...and i meet kennedy at TPY also....for dinner...
then i pass him my phone and let him see what jorge message me...then suddenly he type something and send it out...when he pass back to me and i just realize the message is damn serious...i thought we going to have and happy ending...but then i think kennedy make it worst...so..ya...but actually im quite happy that kennedy send him the message also....sigh...anyway...we go eat the YI Mian as usual then i go his place and relak a while then i just make a move...
finally...i think i can really go diet...suntanning....save up some money...and do those thing i want...no need to think so much...and this is really out of my expected...im not that sad that i thought....haha....great....i can go on and date someone out again....
29th Nov 2011
wake up around 9 plus...by ur alarm....hugging here and there....then around 945 have to really wake up from bed...coz u have to reach PS by 1030...report...so...when u out for bath...i check your phone...and i saw something that really disappoint me...i saw the flirt message that you talking with the guy...he ever send you his naked and XXX pic...so as you... after check that...i message kennedy...then i close the app and continue talking with you....pretend nothing happen...but my attitude does show...
so when we reach mrt...i was still pretending...until i reach my home....and continue message kennedy...and let him know what was happening....so after i tell him what is all about...i activate back my Grindr....and start to grindr again....is been a long time i never active...then after i reach home...i just go and have my breakfast...then turn on the laptop...doing nothing...play my psp....and grindr...and here goes the first one who message me in grindr...he said that he is a local...and when the time i meet him....seriously...he damn cute...but too bad that he is not...and he lie. he is very fresh in grindr...dont even know what to do...so end up...we dont even do much of what we talk about...then i go home d...
so when we reach mrt...i was still pretending...until i reach my home....and continue message kennedy...and let him know what was happening....so after i tell him what is all about...i activate back my Grindr....and start to grindr again....is been a long time i never active...then after i reach home...i just go and have my breakfast...then turn on the laptop...doing nothing...play my psp....and grindr...and here goes the first one who message me in grindr...he said that he is a local...and when the time i meet him....seriously...he damn cute...but too bad that he is not...and he lie. he is very fresh in grindr...dont even know what to do...so end up...we dont even do much of what we talk about...then i go home d...
so after that...i message mei lian for meeting her...but then....is really out of budget.....so i cancel to meeting her...and im suppose to go volleyball also...but then kennedy said dont go...we go watch movie and dinner...he know that what was happen with me....seriously...take care of me alot...appreciate....then i out for movie around 6...i reach AMK around 630...so we watch Almost Famous....一炮而红but...actually the movie so so only...not really that good...kind of boring also..anyway...after the movie...we go dinner at the foodcourt on the top floor...so...i eat a bak kut teh and a chk cutlet...and we just talk bout what happen and talk cock...
after dinner we take bus home....and i just turn on my psp and play for a while...then sleep...coz tomorrow working 7...so have to sleep early.....
after dinner we take bus home....and i just turn on my psp and play for a while...then sleep...coz tomorrow working 7...so have to sleep early.....
Monday, November 28, 2011
28th Nov 2011
was sleep quite late yesterday....and i wake up around 815 then sleep in till 9...damn it....quickly bath and pack things for tonight volleyball...then rush for work...lucky im not late for work...if not sure kena people eyesight one....
so today is weekday....is a quiet day....not busy at all...and today is the day that i get my half month pay for just a 6 dollar per hour....is totally not enough for me...but have to just take it first coz they said if they want back pay me its going to be very hard...so...ya...no idea...but i take first...well...i need the money for clear all my bills and insurance and also room rent.but...i can sure that this month also will be damn jia lark....is over again...sigh...when can i get things right....i have no idea...totally no idea....
so after finish work...change to sport apparel and then rush to CCAB...take the wrong bus...then have to go back all the way...but lucky still can reach in time to have the first game.So after the game...tommy fetch me back...so...reach home...bath and then just play my psp...then u call me around 12 plus...said u still in work...and it was at PS today....so..i decide to meet you later....so i change my shirt...prepare for a while then i go take cab and go PS....
so when i reach there...i just walk around and look for a drink....then i head to the cathay and have a cup of ice shaken passion tea...my favorite drinks. is been long time i never have that...so is time to treat myself a cup of that ..... haha..anyway...i wait for almost 1 hour plus then u just come out from the PS and then we just take cab home....seriously...i hate to wait people...but is you so is fine...
when we reach yew tee...we quickly go find some food and eat coz u said u very hungry...so we eat Yi mian at the food court on the second floor...after finish...we just head home and bath and sleep....nothing much can do....well..ya...
so today is weekday....is a quiet day....not busy at all...and today is the day that i get my half month pay for just a 6 dollar per hour....is totally not enough for me...but have to just take it first coz they said if they want back pay me its going to be very hard...so...ya...no idea...but i take first...well...i need the money for clear all my bills and insurance and also room rent.but...i can sure that this month also will be damn jia lark....is over again...sigh...when can i get things right....i have no idea...totally no idea....
so after finish work...change to sport apparel and then rush to CCAB...take the wrong bus...then have to go back all the way...but lucky still can reach in time to have the first game.So after the game...tommy fetch me back...so...reach home...bath and then just play my psp...then u call me around 12 plus...said u still in work...and it was at PS today....so..i decide to meet you later....so i change my shirt...prepare for a while then i go take cab and go PS....
so when i reach there...i just walk around and look for a drink....then i head to the cathay and have a cup of ice shaken passion tea...my favorite drinks. is been long time i never have that...so is time to treat myself a cup of that ..... haha..anyway...i wait for almost 1 hour plus then u just come out from the PS and then we just take cab home....seriously...i hate to wait people...but is you so is fine...
when we reach yew tee...we quickly go find some food and eat coz u said u very hungry...so we eat Yi mian at the food court on the second floor...after finish...we just head home and bath and sleep....nothing much can do....well..ya...
Sunday, November 27, 2011
27th Nov 2011
Then today i wake up around 840....suppose wake up around 730 to have a breakfast with you but then i keep sleep in and u keep hugging me....so i just keep turning off my alarm and sleep again till 840....but i really need to wake up and go mrt take train to orchard then change bus to the bus stop that near my place....but then actually i just dont want to wake up and keep sleep beside you...hugging you...kissing you....but then cannot....rrushing for work....so after i left....i head to mrt and take train to orchard...coz i need to go canele and pass a message to mickey that i have a cake order.
so when i reach there....when hazel saw me...she just running all the way from kitchen to outside and hug me....ya...coz we been quite some time never saw each other already....i miss to work with them actually...coz they are my great part timer when i was still in canele...ya...the time when i still working in canele....is very fun and enjoy....anyway...i pass a message to mickey then ask sam to write a wording for the cake....and stay there for while to chit chat with hui ying then go for work d...if not ill be late again....
so by the time i reach toby is around 1055 already...so i never late today...but....is very busy....busy till around 5 oclock....i dont even have time to stone....just keep running and running.....yet....the weather is so hot somemore....so...finally...the so call 'happy' hour is over...so we start to clean up...and knock off...but...seems like someone said want to have some alcohol...then terence said there have two bottle of champange in side the cupboard...so christine go get one of that and we have a small drink in work place with just me terence christine and charlene....so after that we just went home around 8....
after i reach tpy...i meet kennedy for dinner but then he only accompany me becoz he already taken his dinner...so..i just have a 4 dollar yi mian..then one ching teng...and the one chin chao jelly....then i just can really feel the fullness....then we just talk cock there....around 1030...we just head home....and ya...i was thought that my charger left at your home...but then when i reach home and i search my bag.....is inside so no need to go ur place and stay today....so..i just turn it on my laptop...and do my thing...
so when i reach there....when hazel saw me...she just running all the way from kitchen to outside and hug me....ya...coz we been quite some time never saw each other already....i miss to work with them actually...coz they are my great part timer when i was still in canele...ya...the time when i still working in canele....is very fun and enjoy....anyway...i pass a message to mickey then ask sam to write a wording for the cake....and stay there for while to chit chat with hui ying then go for work d...if not ill be late again....
so by the time i reach toby is around 1055 already...so i never late today...but....is very busy....busy till around 5 oclock....i dont even have time to stone....just keep running and running.....yet....the weather is so hot somemore....so...finally...the so call 'happy' hour is over...so we start to clean up...and knock off...but...seems like someone said want to have some alcohol...then terence said there have two bottle of champange in side the cupboard...so christine go get one of that and we have a small drink in work place with just me terence christine and charlene....so after that we just went home around 8....
after i reach tpy...i meet kennedy for dinner but then he only accompany me becoz he already taken his dinner...so..i just have a 4 dollar yi mian..then one ching teng...and the one chin chao jelly....then i just can really feel the fullness....then we just talk cock there....around 1030...we just head home....and ya...i was thought that my charger left at your home...but then when i reach home and i search my bag.....is inside so no need to go ur place and stay today....so..i just turn it on my laptop...and do my thing...
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