im hunger for love but im not capable for love.
in my very previous blog i already had one of this.
i make some mistake and it make me lost one of my friends....
i just try to be honest that i love....
but....after all it come to and end.
and it make me feel down and sad for the whole month....
i really don means to but i just cant control myself to being like this.
ok....just maybe for other people that not my type.
i know their are very hard to understand the feeling that love by someone that is not normal.
and their are scare about that feeling also.
as one of my friend said....i don might you are....but....just don fall in love thats fine.
i understand what his means....
i understand.....but don know why i just cant control myself.
An honest will drag everything come to an end.
You don't means that but it is means to him.
something i think....
i really need a psychology doctor to get rid of my sickness.
a disease that cant be cure and cant be heal.
a critical childhood life,change my whole entire status and my way to a proper relationship.
sometime when i think back is really stupid..
but what can i do....is already over and over...
it cannot turn back the time and i don change anything now.
some of my friends that know im different their give me advice and opinion.
tell me to give a chance to move back to the way that belong to you...
but what i can said is....im very appreciate that they all told me that.
but my mind don let me change for it....
inside my brain...there's a part name...honest.
im already no longer can have a girlfriends.
and...if i really do...i will tell them that i am a person that cant be share.
i just don want to be that dishonest to them....
but it change everything....
there's no way to change who i am now....
im quite happy with that.but in the other way....i feel sad about that..
but somehow i wont do suicide this kind of stupid thing.
i bet you know the feeling that being lonely...
sometime the feeling it just like...
the whole entire world has abandon you.
and you want to find a person that you really can have a deep hug.
an ear that can absorb every painful memory that you have.
a shoulder that you really can lay on and cry on it...
but the one that im looking for....is just a part of my dream.
i been dreaming this since i come here.
i been trying to push myself that will fall in love with a girl...
somehow i wont success..
what can i say?
No comments:
Post a Comment