shall i continue?

now day i feel like so empty and boring.....

i don know why....

before that he complain about we should love like an adult....

but....wat the adult means is...

less contact less message....and also less talk is it?

i don even know wat the meaning of adult love.....

i only know...if thing keep like this....

one day we will break....

maybe it becoz of our working time....

i work in the night....he work in the morning....

yet...he is a ultra busy men...

everyday meeting here and meeting there.....

yet...when we chat on phone....

i cant even find a topic to talk for it...

i will silence for a while and thinking wat i should said or tell you....

maybe it becoz of the age?

i try to keep this love as hard as possible....

yet i don want to think those nonsense thing to break the love between u and me...

but i don know why i will still thinking of it....

and u promise me today u will going to have a dinner with me but....

maybe u too busy so u forget....

and u said that u are headache...so i don want to disturb u and let you have a gud rest....

in my mind....

i will think that...

shall i change a new one?

did u curious me wether i got go find another one?

shall i keep this love?

shall i trust you?

shall i believe in you when u said u are busy?

i don know....im very confuse now.......

wat can i do?wat should i do?wat shall i do?

a love that cannot let people know is very painful u know...

im scare to tell u all about this....it becoz....i don want to end up like this....

and sometime when i message u...

and u din reply for it...

after that u will give me some reason like...

ooo....yesterday very tired and i sleep already....

i having a meeting....

the most worst reason i heard from u is...on sunday...

after i have a great run for the real run....

i said wether i can go sleep on your bed or not...

u just give me an answer like....

im in church now....chat u later....

the later is about 5 hour.....

this is the problem.....

everytime u also want me to wait for your response.....

sometimes is just a while...

sometimes is about 5~8 hours......

sometimes more worst.....for whole day then i just can get the answer by tomorrow....

is this really wat their call love?

i really don know....heart pain is for sure....

i tell someone tat i trust that im in love with you....

but.....is this really are love?

one of my friends said why cant u find a girlfriends?

it will be more happy when your parents see.....

i don know....i feel so sry to her....that day we almost argue it just becoz of this love....

but now i will wait and see.....

i wont said anything and take any action yet.....

i will just wait...................wait for the answer....

Am i Useless......

just a day has been pass away....

ive been on leave for 8 days.....

i go back my home town to celebrate my birthday......

but why...other people birthday...their friends will find for them.....but....

why don have any friends is doing this to me?

for this whole week....

i find my friends for celebrate my birthday....

and have very boring and tired week....

im happy coz i still can find some friends to go out....

but just some....not all...

i know....their all go work or study....

maybe it just not the right time to go out....

i thought i can enjoy my week when i going back to my home town.....

but....something is missing and something is wrong.......

i don know wat is that....

but i can feel it......something not right......

for the first three day is fun.....coz i can meet my JB friends.....

but....the day pass so fast.....the day i come back to singapore.....

i feel like....so empty.....i cant even know wat im doing for the week.....

wat in my brain now it just a empty and white.....

and.....im thinking wat should i do after i resign.....

wat im doing now is the road that already fix by my uncle....

i cant come in singapore to work without my uncle help......

yet.....their all take care of me so much i think it becoz of my uncle.....

if not....im just a stranger for them......

i plan to study a part time designer.....

but i still have to work to gain some money......

i cant even leave singapore now....

wat i plan for next year.....

i thought i can rest for one or two month.....but....

wat about my rent?wat about my broadband.....

who going to pay for me.......

i cant even think about the future........

wat im doing it just only know how to said......

din take any action at all....

wat can i do?

i hope i can find someone to solve my problem.....

i hope someone can give me some opinion and suggestion.....

to let me build a road that i can walk.....

but...the execute is im still young.....wat can i do?

am i useless?am i not gud enough for them?

am i......still cant step on the world?

having a first step?